Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Reminiscing: Bakassi Boys




I was young 
but  not  naive
as   heads  flew
and blood spilled
and   fear  grew;
Onitsha    was 
a terror zone
One day as 
we were riding 
back home from 
school,       mummy
driving, me on the back 
seat with my siblings, we were 
caught in traffic and we saw their 
vehicle. They were carrying weapons, 
knives, red scarves. I think one was lifting
a head over his head. Blood drained down his 
chest. We drove past and I gasped at something 
that looked like a doll's head lying lifeless on the 
black tarmac. It was human and it was already 
white. Some said they saw the arms and 
legs lying somewhere. It was terrible,
terrifying. They said they were 
cleaning out the streets
Robbers were in for it
Everyone that had ever 
stolen meat from a pot was 
sorry. Only saints plied the road
Guilty ones disappeared to  other 
states. Onitsha was now 'safer' than 
ever but terror was palpable. A few 
families bore the grief for loved 
ones beheaded in cold 
blood. One day we 
heard some good news:
Eddie n'Awgu was dead. Thanks 
to Bakassi. Eddie n'Awgu  had  held 
the town  in  much  terror  for  so  long
Like with Marfian bosses, everyone 
feared him. He called himself 
half human and half spirit
His Odeshi didn't work 
this time.I heard he 
had a  hotel where 
they fed on human 
parts.        Bakassi 
had      succeeded 
in cutting the head 
of the snake.There 
was   jubilation  on 
the streets of Osha
just like when Gen.
Sani   Abacha  died
They became  heroes 
We couldn't tolerate robbers
but we tolerated ruthless murderers
For it is written 'The wages of sin is death'

©Radiant~July 2015

Friday, 17 July 2015

Lockdown


Here I am
loafing away
like a king
on the roof
petting his senses
on a leafless Eve's navel
when princes
have gone to battle 

I do no evil
though, but idleness is evil
I can't be there
'cause I have to work
But now I stare
at an empty chair
with no one to clerk
Ward coat
and steth'scope
taking coffee

My crew's performing
I'm here sulking,
angry at my joblessness
and restlessness
Even the rain is at work
catering, cleaning, making music
I sprawl on my table
like one that's lost a gamble

This is solitary confinement,
lockdown, detainment
Who knew today'd be like this?
So sickness takes public holidays

They go on stage
while I'm in this cage
The world applauds
I bow and nod

Who is taking my role? who's
replaced my character?
I need a counsellor, there's
war within my soul
Should I leave this slumbering shark
to go nurse a snapping shrimp?
To be or not to be
That is the question

©Radiant~July 2015

Pictures From Clogs

If you were there on May 29, 2015 at the Covenant Place, Iganmu, Lagos, you can attest to the fact that it was a remarkable performance.

Due to popular demand, Snapshots is back again to stage the play but now retitled 'Nigeria @2060, back from the future'. This one is going to be a super-duper multi-media production. There are additional scenes and change of casts. So you don't want to miss it.

Be there today @the Covenant Place Iganmu (beside national theatre), by Costain bus stop, Lagos. Red carpet and fashion show-3pm. Curtains are drawn at 4. 

Here are pics from the last production:

Nigeria @2060. The science lab, where the time machine was built. Two scientists at work

The three Nigerians from the past
At the first congress. The president of Nigeria at 2060 sitting at the centre with 2 bodyguards behind her, the Nigerians from the past(21st century) at the right with their guide behind them, the senators and the SAN by the left hand corner.
Things began to fall apart under the wrong advice of the people from the past. Award winning actor being mugged by thugs.
The Nigerians from the past carrying him to the hospital as Paramedics didn't arrive as expected 
Hospitals malfunctioning  
Chaos at the 2nd congress.
The SAN in the middle and the two lawyers go back to the time machine into the 21st century to find solution
Riot on the streets. Fuel scarcity, high exchange rates, increase in crime rate. The Nigerians from the past have overstayed their welcome
The three Nigerians are back to their time
Narrator. What do you see?
Cast and Crew lifting up the Director
It's Today. Be there!


©Radiant~July 2015














Tuesday, 14 July 2015

Kill Me Before I Die


Femme
Kill me before I die
Thrust your arrow into my heart
What's more, your love is like poison

Homme
I never asked you to drink it

Femme
O yes you did
You mixed it thoroughly,
served it in a crystal goblet
I watched as it flaunted its rubied fashion,
calling me to share its majestic splendour
and I couldn't refuse

Homme
But I never asked you to drink it

Femme
Why did you brandish it before my eyes
and watch me guzzle before I could think twice
I floated on the clouds and smelled peace
You didn't lift a finger to rescue me

Homme
Why should one be rescued from peace?

Femme
You arrogant beast!
Surely, you knew what you were doing
Now my wings are broken and I've fallen from the sky
My eyes are open, my guts stolen, my clock's ticking
Kill me before I die
Your hate may do me good

©Radiant 2015

Thursday, 2 July 2015

What To Do Before You Walk Up To Her (Chyking 202)


I've always had a theory about relationships. I don't know how it got ingrained in me since I was a teenager. Not that I had any experience but I just had it in me that whoever I'd marry would be from my circle of friends, not necessarily the ones at that moment. I rejected the idea of arranged marriages or recommendations. I just didn't see how true friendship could be birthed when both parties already knew the other's expectation of them. My belief was that I'd be friends with someone I must have met in a forum of common goal, maybe church group, class, workplace, or something, just a gathering close enough for me to have observed his character around people so that when he approaches me, I already know if he is the type I'd even consider. There are people that I know it's a no-no just by interacting with them or watching how they relate with others. Well, I might have modified that theory with experience over the years, but the basic principle remains that there must be a common ground by which friendship can be developed. It's always boring when I have to go on a date with someone I've never interacted with before or I don't know so well, just because someone close to me recommended me to him. When we sit to talk, it takes the form of a question and answer session. Since there was no common ground of meeting, we have really nothing to discuss save questions about my position in the family and the likes. It pisses me off 'cause I don't understand why they expect me to reveal personal information about myself on our first meeting. Consequently, I'm cold, irritated and angry at the person that made the recommendation.

I have however discovered that there are a lot of well-meaning chaps who have genuine interests in ladies but they don't just make it past the first stage of the interview. So I've decided to share a method that works pretty well with me. These are things you must do before you walk up to her.

1. If you don't have any common ground or shared experience with the woman you admire, find one before you approach her. For example, maybe you're in the same volunteer team or church, you can't just walk up to her 'cause she doesn't know you. If there's a smaller group in there that she belongs to, join it. Then walk up to her the next day? No. You have to establish your presence first. Be a committed member, get known while you're observing her behaviour around people. That way you get to even know her more before you make the approach. What if you find out that she is not as sweet as you thought she was? You'd have saved yourself some headache 'cause you've not approached her yet. 

2. Find out what she likes and see if you can get interested in that too. In this era of social networking, there's a high chance that you'll meet her on one of the social network platforms. So getting to know her interests will help you a lot. For example, you are browsing Facebook and you're on your friend's timeline. You see a picture of your friend and some ladies. One catches your eye. She's been tagged. So you decide to view her profile. You go through her timeline, she seems to be a godly girl +1, you're not so much about tribe and state of origin but she's from your state, another plus. You'd like to get to know her better so you send her a friend request. Now here's where a lot of well-meaning blokes get it wrong. She accepts their request and they send a 'hi' hoping to chat. When they don't get a reply after several attempts, they send a message saying 'I like you. I'd like to know you better'. Every lady like me will be turned off by that statement. You don't get to know people for who they really are by chatting on Facebook. Some even go further to drop their phone numbers and ask for hers. And they rave when she doesn't reply, even to the extent of cursing her and calling her a snob.

This is what you should do instead. While going through her timeline, (1) you should check to see if there's a common physical group you two belong to. Since you're meeting on Facebook, the probability of having a common group with her like church or so is slim, so (2) find out the kind of things she likes. For example, you see she has a blog. You'd be very unserious not to follow that blog and regularly comment on it. That's how you get your name registered in her mind so that when you finally communicate with her, you're not a total stranger. Okay, she doesn't have a blog, (3) follow her on Twitter and Instagram and regularly comment on new posts. Apart from getting your name registered, following her on these platforms will get you to know more about her person. You may just find out something about her that doesn't go down well with you and you will thank your God that you haven't made the move or you'll find that both of you share similar passions and interests. Ope o! These are the things that will form the bedrock of what you talk about when you finally start communicating and your dates won't be like interview sessions.

©Radiant~July 2015