Sunday, 18 March 2018

I Said I Must Write


So I said I must write and I didn't care about what. 
My Granny died 4 weeks ago and we were asked to write a tribute for the publication to be served on the day of her burial in May. The deadline for submission was last Thursday. I had thought I wasn't going to be able to write anything since I haven't had any inspiration to write this year. Not that I have not had any interesting experiences to be shared, but I was just waiting for the first line to drop on my lap before I would pick up my notepad to type 'cause that's what I'm used to.
But I've waited and you've waited. I still see the numbers coming to my blog every week to check and it hurts me. It hurts me that I don't have something for you, that you are disappointed again and again, that the numbers are dropping, that soon Radiant would be history. It hurt me.
Then the deadline for submission was approaching. How would I justify not writing a tribute for my Grand mom? Don't I miss her? And if I were to write a thing at all, it would really be disappointing to just say, "Rest in peace Grandma. I miss you." I already overhead them say, "Chidiogo will write us a poem", meaning that they are expecting from me, not just a tribute, but something creative as the writer that I am.
Well, this is the end of the story. On the eve of the d-day, I picked up my notepad, blank screen in front of me, blank mind inside of me, I didn't care. I had to write something. Anything.
"'Grandma', we called her..." and the words flowed like water from an unblocked tap. The next day I put finishing touches, sent to my editor to see if it made sense and he said, "it's beautiful". Really? I've had the secret all along but did nothing with it. It is called a writer's block, but the cure for it is for the writer to write. How ironic! 
So I said I must write today and here we are. I am excited that you'll be glad to see a "new post from me" and  you'll be happy to "read me", as some of you have requested in private messages. Shout out to y'all who don't let me drown in that block, who give me a reason to fight to write again. Your direct messages and even just the fact that you still visit this blog when there is nothing new here helps me keep hope alive.
Therefore, I'll write again. I'll write again but this time not for me. I've served myself all this while and maybe that's the lesson I needed to learn from this break. Life is not just about me. It's about you too. I want to serve you this time. I'll pick up my pad even when I don't feel like. I'll make the time even when I'm choked up my sleeves. So tell me, what would you want to read from me?
Let me know in the comment section below.

Radiant ~ March 2018

No comments :