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About Radiant's blog

The blogging sphere has crowded up very quickly in the past decade and it even looks like YouTube is taking over. Starting a blog in 2021 se...

Friday 22 October 2021

ISAD 2021: International Stammering Awareness Day

It is the International Stammering Awareness Day. Last year, I wrote about my experience of stammering at work here. So much has happened in the past 365 days that my current workplace experience is almost the opposite of what I wrote last year. I speak quite fluently these days. I make lots of phone calls with no problems. I do not stumble on the NHS number anymore. 

I now work in a GP surgery rather than a hospital ward. So my consultations are in the confines of a room with just the patient and me, and sometimes a relative. Maybe this is contributory but I don’t think it would be different if I remained in the hospital. I had already started speaking fluently in the last 4 months of my last hospital post which I left in August this year. And I had stammered a lot when I was in a similar GP setting in my first year of training. 

My testimony is not much about my freedom to speak fluently, but more about overcoming my fear and anxiety around speaking and meeting people. Fluency came as a bonus. I found out that as soon as I began to let myself stammer without feeling shame or fear, I stammered less. Those who never met me stammering will find it hard now to believe that it used to be a problem.

I am very grateful to the people who introduced the concept of “It is okay to stammer” to me. Iain Wilkie, for your work with the practice interviews. I participated last year. All the authors of the book "Stammering Pride and Prejudice: Difference not Defect". 

I am grateful to Dr. Sunday Adelaja for his YouTube series on Self Confidence and all the other teachings. I am also grateful to all who encouraged me when speaking was so difficult including my family, my husband, my church and close friends. Guys, I am accepting speaking invitations now.

On this International Stammering Awareness Day, I would like to encourage everyone to provide a supportive environment for stammerers. Most of our problem is the fear, shame and anxiety from encountering a hostile atmosphere - one that does not tolerate or accept the stammering speech. When stammerers are free to be themselves, to say what they want to without embarrassing looks, to finish their sentences without someone cutting them short, to be heard and appreciated for the content of their speech and not the delivery, they thrive and can attain to their full potential. Be a stammering ally today!

My message to stammerers is “It is okay to stammer”. Feel free to stammer. Permit yourself to stammer. Do not let it stop you. You may need to work harder than everyone else at developing your self confidence. If you don’t stand up for yourself, who will?

Happy International Stammering Awareness Day!

Radiant ~ October 2021

Monday 11 October 2021

World King's Day

11th October is World King's Day. On this day, few years ago, a king was born. Let me introduce you to this king.

When I met my husband, I knew he was different from all the men I had known before him. I was not sure what the journey of marriage would be like with him but I knew two things which gave me peace and faith for a blissful partnership. He loved God and he was wise. I reckoned that if he loved God he could love me and if he made wise decisions, I could submit to him.

We have been in this for almost 3 years and I have come to know so many other sides to him that challenge, amaze and inspire me.

1. Perseverance - Relocating to the UK came with the hardship of periods of unemployment. I watched as he went through tons of job applications, company research, professional networking, interviews, rejections, feedback, courses, self development, volunteer work, freelancing, job loss, etc. I would have given up very early, were I in his shoes, but he never did. He always believed he could break into the system and he did.

2. Love - My husband does his best daily to express love for me in my primary love language. I can't say I do the same for him. In fact, I only discovered his primary love language 2 days ago and I was shocked. I had thought it was something else.

3. Loyalty - I have never seen a more loyal person in my life. The respect this man has for authority is second to none even when he completely disagrees with the said authority. He is very dependable. Anyone who has him in his team has got a gem. 

4. Hardworking - It did not cease to amaze me that even when he was jobless, he slept less hours than I did. He works so hard at everything, be it his career, volunteer work, or self development.

5. Excellence - Any project he takes on, he takes ownership of it and he does his best to do it excellently. This comes with a catch though, or maybe a blessing in disguise. Because people know he will always do things right, he gets drafted into lots of projects.

6. A healthy self esteem - My husband is very self- aware and comfortable with who he is, not too much to become proud, yet very secure in his identity whether he has little or much. He celebrates the success of his peers and never feels a pressure to measure up. Rather, he competes with himself.

7. Tolerance - Like God, my husband is slow to anger. Which makes me so anxious in the rare occurrence of me sensing that he is angry. He understands our differences and he appreciates my uniqueness even when my behaviour annoys him.

8. Responsible - I admire how he takes care of his parents and siblings. The burden of his family is his burden.

9. Leadership - Some people are born leaders. He is one of them. Once he is in a group, people naturally gravitate towards him. Whether it is because he takes responsibility for the task at hand or because he has foresight and wisdom, I don't know.

10. Supportive - My husband has always cheered me on. When I was doubtful about my stammer, he would always tell me not to give much thought to it, that I could excel at whatever I wanted to, in spite of the stammer. It was like he never noticed the stammer. With him, I was always free to stammer. 

This is my husband. This is the man I married. I am so proud of you, my King. I celebrate you today and always. May God bless the mother who bore you. May you know no lack in your life. May you excel in all your endeavours. I love you so much. Daniel loves you too. Happy birthday.

Radiant ~ October 2021