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The blogging sphere has crowded up very quickly in the past decade and it even looks like YouTube is taking over. Starting a blog in 2021 se...

Tuesday 25 December 2018
A message for Christmas
Saturday 22 December 2018
Christmas: Kid’s expectations vs. financial realities
My memories of Christmas period during childhood have always been of new dresses, new shoes, new movies, Christmas decor, harmattan, chin chin, rice and chicken. For many families, this is a season of much spending.
A few days ago, my husband and I had fun eavesdropping on a conversation between a mother and her 3 children at McDonald’s. Actually, we did not need to eavesdrop, the mother was loud enough for everyone close by to hear. They sat adjacent to us munching on their burgers, chips and chicken nuggets. The children were obviously delighted.
Son 1: We should do this more often.
Daughter: And cinema too.
Mom: I had to work 2 hrs for you to eat this and I will have to work a bit more than 2 hrs for y’all to go to the cinema from here.
Son 2: And we will be having popcorn.
Mom: You still want popcorn after eating all these?, she said with so much shock.
Son 1: But these are cheap.
Mom: Everything is cheap when you’re not the one paying for it
Son 2: But Daddy can afford it.
Mom: Yea daddy can ‘cause he works full time. I have to work part time to look after y’all and to pick y’all from school. Daddy will not do that.
Son 1: How many hours do I have to work to make £100?
Mom: 1 week.
After a brief silence,
Son 1: Mom what age do I have to be before I can work? 18?
Mom: I had my first job at 14.
Of course the conversation was longer than I’ve highlighted. However, the interesting thing for us about the conversation was the consciousness of the relationship between work and fun which the mom had started to imbibe in her kids, making them look forward to work when they are able. She was trying to teach them not to take things for granted but to be more considerate in demands and appreciative of the efforts parents put in to make their children happy.
And it seemed to work. Son 1 who should be about 8 to 10 yrs old was already thinking of taking responsibility. He wanted to know how soon and how much he could make. Probably so as to not have to deal with his mom’s money complaints or to help the family or even to get a long-desired toy, whichever way, he is becoming financially responsible.
That day's experience reminded me of those times when I had expected some things from my parents and got denied. Once, our dad refused to release money for any new clothes for Christmas. We were all devastated. We felt it was our right to have new clothes for Christmas and New year days and we didn’t care why we were being denied. Could it have been more bearable if he explained why there was no money for that? Would I have believed him? Are children really considerate about financial constraints?
I think Christmas is a very special season for kids and it will be good to factor their expectations early in planning. However, there may be other inevitable financial demands that put these expectations lower on the priority list. Should parents explain these to their children?
Please share your thoughts below on how much you think parents should tell their kids about family financial situation. What can this achieve?
Merry Christmas
Radiant ~ December 2018
Sunday 16 December 2018
A Night at the Atican Beach Resort Hotel, Lagos, Nigeria
Monday 3 December 2018
RadiantKing: Preparing for Marriage. Planning a Wedding
1. Career stability. We were both in transition at the time of the proposal. My King had just begun his Masters programme, while I had just gotten a licence to work in UK as a doctor and was then job hunting. He didn't want us getting into this major milestone of a life event in our transition phases. At least one of us had to be stable career-wise before we got married.
2. Counselling. My King was very particular about us receiving proper counselling before venturing into the institution of marriage. We couldn't go in unprepared. Hence, we attended an informal and a formal marriage counselling. We got informal but structured counselling from our mentors viz. his former boss and his wife. We had several sessions with them both physically and via video calls. The formal one was organized by our local church in Nigeria and was done through 6 sessions of video conference calls. We were among the first set of diaspora couples for counselling. During these sessions, we learnt about communication, roles and responsibilities, great expectations of marriage, managing in-laws, being united, finances, sex, and so on. Our formal counselling required us to read at least 2 books on marriage.
Planning a Wedding
Planning the wedding did not stress us much. It feels a bit weird saying this as I have seen people under so much pressure during wedding preps. King maintained a calm demeanor even in the midst of his Masters courseworks, exams and thesis. To him, planning a wedding is not much different from organising one of his community development projects @GenLeaders. Many people get stressed during the planning process when they try to over-impress or go beyond their capability. Not to deny the fact that planning from outside Nigeria helped ease off some physical stress as we engaged a wedding planner. Moreover, we had friends and family who helped do our leg work. I had some concerns about things not going as planned, but we just had to trust God and the people to whom we had committed the work to.
Sunday 18 November 2018
Be Led by the Spirit
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
Saturday 10 November 2018
RadiantKing: The Proposal
Tuesday 6 November 2018
RadiantKing: Long Distance Relationship
June 2017 came and passed but my King did not come. He had begun to apply for a Masters programme in UK and needed to manage finances. So he moved his exams to Ghana. He was in his 6th career year and had started getting bored. He longed for something different, either a higher degree or a change of job so he took his shot. He would have pursued a degree in the US or Canada like most young men in Nigeria prefer, but I was a very good attraction to come to the UK. It made sense to deny ourselves the pleasure of seeing briefly that summer for a more fulfilling opportunity of being together in the same country for a longer period. If it failed, then he would visit afterwards.
Sunday 4 November 2018
RadiantKing: Leaving For Masters
When I was applying for a Masters programme, I had told my then-boyfriend my plan but he was not in support of me going abroad. He wanted me to stay back and find other opportunities locally. On the contrary, Kingston encouraged me, even reviewed and edited my essays. It seemed he wasn't as much concerned about the implication of a long distance relationship if I succeeded; he was more concerned about me furthering my career.
Looking back, it seems God used King's exam to prepare us for the future. I had to learn to tolerate his absence sometimes as he studied. Around mid-year, he left for the UK to write his exams but before boarding, he sent me a song, Wait for me by Johnny Drille. Quite a romantic gesture. I had not heard it before then. I kept playing the song while I waited for his return. He kept in touch regularly. Thankfully he passed. I told him my coming into his life made him pass as he was previously unsuccessful.
Well, I got a scholarship and it was certain I would be away for one year. I was a little disappointed with the news though. I had thought 2016 was my year of marriage, but with the developing events, I would have to wait another year. Besides, how could I survive one full year of being apart from this fine man I had fallen so in love with. I did not doubt his faithfulness. I only doubted my emotional strength to cope. Yet I was excited about the prospects of getting a foreign education, seeing life from a developed world, exploring the public health space and escaping the depression I had from practising clinical medicine in Nigeria.
Radiant ~ November 2018
Sunday 28 October 2018
RadiantKing: Finally Making His Intentions Known 2
Saturday 27 October 2018
RadiantKing: Finally Making His Intentions Known
Meanwhile, I got a call one night from Kingston. We chatted normally, then I decided to fill him in on what has been going on with me, after all, we were still friends. I told him I was now dating someone else. He was shocked to the marrow. I didn't understand why he was so surprised. Didn't he say he had exams to write? The next day, he left his office very early to beat the traffic. He sent me a text to come out but I had gone to Bible study and was on my way back with my new boyfriend. He waited while I bade my new boyfriend farewell, got out of his car and went into the house.
I was in a strait betwixt two - to go for the man I loved but who was initially uninterested or the man I am just getting to know who knew what he wanted from Day One. At this point, I knew I needed some elderly & spiritual advice. I asked both not to call me again, so as not to cloud my judgement. I travelled home to discuss with my mentor and my mom. Both had the same verdict - that both men were not serious. So I came back and asked both of them to give me some space as I needed to seek the Lord concerning the matter.
Tuesday 23 October 2018
RadiantKing: Him Not Saying Anything
To be continued...
Did you miss the last episode - RadiantKing:Becoming Friends? Click here to read.
Tuesday 16 October 2018
RadiantKing - Becoming Friends
Sunday 14 October 2018
Work
22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in every respect, not only when they are watching - like those who are strictly people-pleasers - but with a sincere heart, fearing the Lord. |
23 Whatever you are doing, work at it with enthusiasm, as to the Lord and not for people |
15 Therefore be very careful how you live - not as unwise but as wise, |
16 taking advantage of every opportunity, because the days are evil. |
10 The one who loves money will never be satisfied with money, he who loves wealth will never be satisfied with his income. This also is futile. |
11 When someone's prosperity increases, those who consume it also increase; so what does its owner gain, except that he gets to see it with his eyes? |
Saturday 13 October 2018
RadiantKing - The Meeting 2
Kingston narrates:
Finally, I made up my mind to join C4 – the Covenant Christian Centre Choir – after observing from the congregation for about 2 years. A call was made for an audition of new members so I took the chance. Among the many called, I made the cut of the chosen few who began the induction process. At the end of the classes, we were split into 2 groups and asked to compose and perform a song as the final part of our induction process within 2 weeks. It was the kind of challenge I liked but I wasn’t expecting to see fingers pointed at me when it was time to choose a group leader. Gosh! A few people who knew me from my campus fellowship were in my group.
Anyway, we got to work. We decided on a theme for the song we would compose and to present suggestions through our Whatsapp group over the week. I observed there was a certain lady who kept sending voice notes and lyrics of her compositions even during work hours. It was nice to see someone shared such enthusiasm about the project but I felt we could do better as a group. So I would point her in the direction of what to change or to think of something entirely different. This happened several times but she didn’t stop. In the end, we worked on a composition by another member of the group. Having lost out on the song composition, she then suggested we could add a rap verse and sent in her lyrics. “Alright,” I said, “you will perform your rap when next we meet.”
The weekend came and we had to start learning the song due to the tight delivery schedule. I did look out for her to know who this bubbly person was. I eventually saw her and thought to myself, “She’s fine sha...but hey! no distractions; focus on the business at hand.” However, she caught my attention again. Another lady in the group had presented the rap part better than her. First I had rejected her song compositions and now chosen someone else to perform her rap, yet she remained cheerful all through…no drama. This made me think, “There must be something about this girl” but I kept my cool; we had a task to complete.
The day to deliver came, thankfully the Music Director scored us higher than the other group. Afterwards, we were formally inducted to the choir and asked to introduce ourselves, including relationship status. OK! I specifically listened for her turn and when it came, she said “it’s complicated”. Hian! What does that mean? Well, her good conduct activated the FBI in me. For starters, I had to make her my friend; I wanted to know more about her. That was the beginning of many dramatic events that have since unfolded.
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