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The blogging sphere has crowded up very quickly in the past decade and it even looks like YouTube is taking over. Starting a blog in 2021 se...

Sunday 24 August 2014

Chyking 201 (Three Case Studies)

Now this is what I've been talking about- A proper way of Chyking'.
If you've been following this blog, you probably would have come across my two articles - Chyking 101 and 102. If you have not, I kindly suggest that you scheme through them for a better appreciation of what I'm about to write.

Chyking, a word from Nigerian parlance, is the art of chatting up a lady in order to get into a closer relationship with her. It also refers to what we call 'to toast a girl'. It simply means to woo a girl. 

From my experience, I have concluded that many Nigerian guys have an approach that puts women like me off rather than attract them. I've also discovered the missing key. For me, it's politeness. Just some manner of courtesy. That's all. I'm not promising I'll let out my number but at least I'll give an ear to a polite guy. 

So after much disappointment with guys, I came across one who I'm sure hasn't read my blog but has the proper approach I discussed.

Yesterday, I was walking down to church and heard someone call me from the back. I can't  remember exactly what he said but it certainly wasn't a hiss because I turned to him, though in my heart I was like 'here comes one of them'. He didn't start by asking for my name- thank goodness. He just said 'you're beautiful', which was allowed. I mean, it is allowed to make your observation and voice your opinion. Even I, do it sometimes. So I thanked him. He then asked where I was heading to and I told him that I was going to church.

In order not to bore you with the details of the conversation-though it was quite an interesting one, basically, he didn't go the typical way that I frown against. In fact, it didn't even look to me like he was chyking me. He probably was just admiring what he saw. I remember him saying 'I'm sure that you would be getting a lot of 'distraction' on the road, I'm probably one of them'. I found that funny. Well, we just talked about what we did and then he said his name, shaking hands with me (yeah, you heard that right, SHAKING HANDS WITH ME and I didn't use a hand sanitizer afterwards), he added 'it was nice to meet you' and then began to leave. It was I who said, 'maybe you could check me on Facebook' and he came back asking if I was on BB. He then gave me his number, so I could text my pin to him. Well, if that was his own strategized method, it sure worked and still left him much respected too. 

Now, I don't remember his name, I hardly do when it comes to road chykers, but I'm sure to scroll through my phone contacts to get his number, even if it is to make him read this article. I'd really like to commend his manner of approach.  

To give you a clearer picture of what I'm saying, just ten minutes later in church, the guy next to me suddenly leaned towards me muttering some words. I had to strain my ears and ask him to repeat his lines until I deciphered that he was asking if I were a student of Yabatech. Okay, before you fall off your seat in horror, actually, the program I attended was a students' summit, so the question wasn't that tangential, though I didn't get the Yabatech part because there were several schools from Lagos to Ogun State being represented.

First, I burst his bubble by replying that I was not a student. Apologetically, he said 'oh sorry, I thought you were from Yabatech. There are many of them here'. Cool. So I'm not. What next? He seemed to recline a bit thinking of what next to say. Then he suddenly got a spark and said 'can we meet more than this?' I didn't really get that so I made him repeat the lines and heard the same thing. So I figured out what he was saying and you can guess what my response was. Of course it was a capital 'No' and I have no apologies for that. 

Interestingly, one would have thought that I'd be more favorable towards the one I met in church, sitting next to me, than the one I met on the road, but you see how the different methods made the difference. It wasn't really a factor of how they looked or spoke English, though these are very important factors for a good communication, or was it in the societal class. It was the politeness of approach. Now, I'm not advocating stopping ladies on the road to chat them up. I personally have a grudge against that. But like I said, the earlier guy's approach was commendable.

That very same day, after the program, I entered a public bus and was seated next to a man whom I hardly noticed until he began to cough. In this era of the deadly E, when someone coughs in a 'bus', you can guess the reaction of people. So I guess he suddenly got the point and just went straight to the point. 'You are beautiful' -the same opening lines with the first guy. 'Thank you', I replied like you expected.
'Are you just coming from the east?' (Now this is one of them)
'So you've been in Lagos for sometime'
'Are you going to Ikeja or Maryland?'
(If this were a job interview, I wouldn't mind)
'Can I have your number?'
'If you don't mind'
'I mind'
'Ok, lemme give you mine'
I'd begun to get irritated.
He sensed it and left me for a while. I answered a phone call that told me to no longer stop at Maryland, but at the last bus stop at Ikeja. So we reached Maryland and the bus stopped for passengers to alight. He came down thinking I was hot on his heels. Then seeing me still seated, he decided to pee by the road. Luckily for him, there was a traffic jam, so he wasn't left behind.
He came back to the bus after voiding and continued.
'So are you from Onitsha or Asaba?'
'Or Arochukwu'
'Where are you from?'
By this time I was pretty much pissed.
Turning to him, I asked 'Why do you want to know where I'm from?
He noticed my tone and knew better not to answer that question , so he sat up and alighted at the next bus stop.

And did I mention that he had a ring on his fourth left finger, all that while?

I certainly don't need to analyze this one. Let's not over flog this issue. I hope you've gotten my point. You judge for yourself what approach is best.

A word is enough for the wise!

©Radiant~ August 2014
click here for Chyking 202


Anonymous said...

Wow, what a great way to start my week! Beautifully written and insightful.
However, Miss Radiant, I'll advise you not to give strangers you're meeting for the first time your phone number - especially someone you met on the road. Please be cautious. Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing who appear to be nice, calm and well-mannered. They always have the perfect lines for every girl and every situation. You'll think they're nice to you specially, but they'll do the same thing to the next beautiful girl they encounter. Don't just let down your guard anyhow - especially on the street/road. As a lady, you cannot afford to be naive. We live in dangerous times. Wisdom is profitable to direct.

Radiant said...

Thanks dear. God bless

Unknown said...

Did you just say dear to mr anon? He just asked you not to... Lol