Holding Hands

Sometimes I know what to say but not how to say it

I go in circles, complain of your quietness, your indifference 

I accuse you for not taking a picture with me

But all I want to say is

I really miss you holding my hand

It meant so much to me the first time you did it

Each time from then I felt your love in that simple act

So when you stop, it says something to me

I may be wrong but I can't think differently

Because you won't hold my hand

I notice you've not smiled much today

I notice you've not talked much either

Or cracked your usual jokes or tease me

You say you can't come and it feels like it's true

What my head's telling me just might be it

I go under my shell

I decide not to talk either

I hoard my smiles

I don't gesture to hug

If someone's not feeling it, I shouldn't force it

Let's see where this takes us

Maybe someone will soon talk

You notice my disposition

And you're concerned

'You look sad', you tell me

'What's wrong?'

I say I'm fine

And I feel worse

You should be the object of scrutiny

Not me

I open my mouth to talk

Nothing comes out

This is insane

You started it

I know what to say but not how to say it

I go in circles, I complain of your quietness, your indifference

I accuse you for not taking a picture with me

But all I want to say is

I really miss you holding my hand

©Radiant~ February 2015